How to Binge on Less Than 300 Calories

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"Do you want to lose weight?"

"No. I've given up caring."

"Then, why did you call about this program?"

"I don't know. Maybe it will rub off on me and I will magically lose weight."

I didn't believe I was a "binge" personality, but I called anyway to ask about the study at Stanford University Medical Center. After a four hour interview with many questions and some testing I was accepted into the study. I begin next Tuesday.

I realize it must be my evening munching on "goodies" that qualified me as a binge eater. I was in denial because if I eat too much, my stomach pays me back with pain and suffering. So, I considered myself to be a "cautious" over eater. In some ways I am still in denial. It's not like I ate huge mounds of food. That's a fallacy that many people believe about those who are overweight. My problem was the high calorie density of the food I call goodies. And it is my lack of aerobic exercise that keeps my weight stable. Overweight but stable while climbing and falling the same ten pounds.

(Why I don't get enough exercise is another story)

Since I had a sudden gain over the holidays, and several days of my stomach getting even, I attempted to keep track of my intake. I threw away my goodies, and decided to just eat my healthier foods. Yet, I've been struggling. Is it habit that I spend my evenings craving food? I feel so hungry, even if I have eaten three meals plus snack per day. Is it that I want to feel that full stomach feeling? Is it a way to bury my stress? Habit... Hunger... bury stress... Maybe all three

I have altered the calorie count of my food choices and now I "binge" on salad. I mean SALAD. I live in a part of the country where salad making ingredients are plentiful all year long. So I have no excuse to not enjoy them.

Here's the recipe for tonight's binge:

272 calories 17 grams protein


1 ½ cup  SPRING MIX BABY LETTUCE - 10 calories, 1 gram protein

1 cup  BABY SPINACH  - 7 calories, 1 gram protein

½ cup chopped CELERY - 7 calories  .35 gram protein

½ cup sliced & peeled ENGLISH CUCUMBER,  - 8 calories  .34 gram protein

½ cup shredded CARROT  - 25 calories .5 gram protein

1 medium, chopped APPLE  - 35 calories  1 gram protein

½ cup TOMATO slices 20 calories 0 gram protein

½ cup  KNUDSEN FAT FREE COTTAGE CHEESE 80 calories - 13 gram protein

2 Tbsp LITEHOUSE YOGURT BLEU CHEESE DRESSING 80 calories 1 gram protein

fresh LEMON JUICE to taste

Please note:

I add water to the dressing so it will cover my salad more evenly and mix in with the cottage cheese.

It takes me about an hour to eat all this.

I'm not advertising the brand name products. They just happen to be what I use. Sure do like that salad dressing, though.

I prefer English Cucumbers because they taste better, keep their freshness longer and my tummy likes them better.

This is what Wikipedia has to say about English Cucumbers:
English cucumbers can grow as long as 2 feet. They are nearly seedless, have a delicate skin which is pleasant to eat, and are sometimes marketed as “Burpless”, because the seeds and skin of other varieties of cucumbers are said to give some people gas. Most commonly grown in greenhouses, these parthenocarpic cucumbers are often found in grocery markets shrink-wrapped in plastic.

Can I be a Biggest Loser?

Dear Biggest Loser,

I cried tonight watching when Corey fell, not once, but twice and he didn't get a chance to make it over the finish line.

I cried when he said he wants to lose weight, but he doesn't understand why he keeps eating. And while he's eating he keeps asking himself why, while a part of him says to stop, but he continues to eat anyway.

I cried when I saw the oxygen mask over his face and the Emergency vehicles ready to take him away. I cried as I took what was left of my carrot cake I had been munching on while watching the show, and tossed it in the garbage.

I'm like Corey. I know my health is quite seriously in danger. I really want to lose weight. But, I still eat incorrectly and while I'm doing it (or not eating at all) I still ask myself why and still do it anyway. There's no part of me telling me to stop, though. It's more like, "Shhh... don't think about it."

And I would be like Korey trying to run a mile. I would fall down too. Not only can I not walk a mile. I cannot run at all. I haven't been able to run since my leg popped out of it's socket. I did it twice and then that was it. I never ran again.

I had a rare bone cancer starting when I was 22. I had seven recurrences for eleven years. A portion of my pelvis was removed along with some pelvic floor muscles, as well as a muscle on the inside of my leg. There is no built-in prosthesis holding me together.

Originally, I was told, if I survived, I would never walk. But, I did walk, and have had to get out of a wheelchair and learn to walk again more than once. I've done the best I can all these years. I'm 65 now. Even with my eating the wrong foods, I'm still able to keep my (over) weight stable these last 15 years. But, I'm afraid as I become more inactive I will gain more.

I know I have gone against the odds so many times and learned I have something in me that fights even when I think I have given up. But, this part of me that cannot eat right, wont eat right, defeats me.

I keep wondering how soon it will be when I'm in a wheelchair again, and at what point I wont be able to make myself walk. There's longevity in my family. I don't want to spend the next 30 years unable to walk.

I don't need to lose hundreds of pounds. If my goal weight were to be the healthy weight I had at age 18, I would only need to lose 60 pounds. But, I know my challenge to lose that amount of weight would be just as difficult for my body and mind as if I had hundreds of pounds to lose.

I doubt I would be accepted for the show. I have other medical problems that would probably disqualify me.

I wish you would have a Biggest Loser season where you help disabled people to lose weight and show us how to do it with adaptations equal to our physical capabilities. Could you do a Biggest Loser show like that? If you do, I bet it would be the biggest challenge that Bob and Jillian (and Dr. Huizenga) have ever faced.