Cries with Cop

I started to cry while driving on the freeway. I have no idea why. It wasn't simply that sense of tears starting to spring that you can hold back with a tightness in the throat. No, this came from somewhere deep. Like a volcano wanting to break loose. Tears unbidden. Tears with plans of their own.

I knew I had to get off the freeway as soon as possible to avoid being a danger to others. I can drive while crying. I've done it before. Haven't we all? It wasn't even a matter of understanding why I felt so sad.

There was an exit up ahead a couple miles, but I had to pull over right there and then.  I had the flashers on so that other drivers would at least notice I was on the side of the road. Not wanting to break down sobbing, I was looking around for some tissues, and thereby noticed from the rear view mirror, a vehicle coming up on me  from the rear. A police vehicle. Oh dear, oh yuck, oh %^*&! Can I get a traffic ticket for having pulled over on the freeway without having a flat tire of overheated engine? I would soon find out.

Officers in this area frequently come up to the passenger side of the car to talk to the driver, because the danger of a high speed vehicle clipping them while passing too closely. Therefore when the officer came to my door, I opened it so he could lean in. It was just beginning to sprinkle.

He took one look at me, and I noticed in his eyes a flicker of recognition. He knew instinctively that this wasn't a stalled car problem. Maybe he was thinking, a crying woman, Oh no, oh yuck, oh %^*&!". But he said with concern, "Are you all right, Ma'am?"

I didn't know what to say. (I just started crying for no reason, officer, over nothing?) No, I didn't say that. I lied. Okay, maybe not a full lie, a little white lie. I told him my mother died last year... and a bit of overwhelming grief struck me while driving... and I thought it would be safer for me to pull over to calm down. He said some comforting words, and to get me out of danger of the traffic, he followed me to the next exit.

Maybe it is true after all. Maybe I am missing my mother. She was 87 when she died a couple years ago. She was my best supporter, and loved to me read anything I might have written. A letter, a poem, a story, one of my opinionated pieces or a journal page about my cats. She would have liked this posting to know a caring cop had stopped to help her daughter. She would have understood how tears and sadness come from nowhere, with no known reason. She would have understood my white lie.

Please note:  I love to take pictures of vintage cars. The last picture is of my Mom in our 1955 Nash Rambler. 

California Fires

"In response to a friend's email, concerning the California fires and asking if I was okay:

"My" fire happened last month, but because it was only a couple of mountains and all forest and only a few "hunter's cabins" and grew to be larger in size than the city of San Francisco , I guess there was not much news coverage on it. Fortunately, it was on the other side of my little mountain and would have had to jump the freeway to get to me. Staying locked in the house was my best option. Still it played havoc with my asthma, but that is under control now.

My son, being in San Francisco has little to worry about. My daughter is in the Los Angeles area and close to the Lake Arrowhead fire. Three years ago flames were in sight of her street and they were ready to leave when it turned around.

This year she is only being inundated by ash. (Think of a blizzard and you've got the picture.) They are all locked inside their house with the air conditioning OFF in 3 digits temps. Last time they used the air conditioner, the ash ruined the coils, and they had to replace the whole system, so this time they are using the house fans.

I told her to come up here, but now the freeways are closed. The routes they could take around still would make it possible, but I cannot imagine the traffic, and think they are safer at home. Her son, is a Paramedic and I am more worried about him, as he is working the Riverside area which is closer to the other bigger fires, and he is in the midst of rescue efforts. Not too long ago he was gung-ho to be in the military and on the front lines. Well, he got his wish in a way. He's a tough guy with a very big heart. I know he is getting an education the hard way, right now. I will get the real story from him later.

There are fires in the Canyon Country region, where my brother used to live, as well as my parents. I am so glad they are no longer there. My brother is frantic about his old friends and neighbors. Same with my sister, who used to live near the Malibu fires area. You have to realize these fires are NOT just in the uninhabited areas. It is inevitable that neighborhoods get destroyed.

Most people think of California as one big stretched out freeway city, but there is a great deal of wilderness surrounding each city and homes encroach right up the canyons and into the trees. There are those who say "I told you so" about building neighborhoods in areas that should be left to nature. But, I guess if one can afford $$$ million dollar homes up on the side of a mountain, one can afford the insurance and rebuild.

Sorry to sound so cynical. There's a lot of rich neighborhoods which have been destroyed. I cannot help but notice the comparison between Hurricane Katrina and now. Money has power and California money talks to politicians. Swarztenegger was there in the area of the very rich homes on the first day. He has friends in high places (like those homeowners near the fires). Though this is a terrible tragedy, the power that moneyed people have here is obvious. And of course, the ones in the shelters have less than the ones who have gone to stay at Hilton.

I keep wondering about the wildlife. We lost a lot with the fire up here last month. The small critters can't get away. The larger ones run into other regions. Where I live the wildlife relocated itself into farming areas and they keep rescuing cougars and bears. The wild boar are being shot. The coyotes live very well among communities. Wolves are on the fence as there are those who kill on sight, and those who rescue. I don't know what they are going to do in Southern. California.

Well, I suppose one could consider one good thing to have come from all this. The San Diego area is so devastated. There wont be any cover for the illegal immigrants. They wont need an army of immigration officers to watch the border. A single helicopter should be able to handle the job. That should take care of the problem for a long time! And, yes,  I am being a bit sarcastic here.

I dread this winter when the rains begin, as then there will be mudslides galore. It really is very very bad this year. I've lived in So Cal many years and seen the fires come and go.