How to Binge on Less Than 300 Calories

.
"Do you want to lose weight?"

"No. I've given up caring."

"Then, why did you call about this program?"

"I don't know. Maybe it will rub off on me and I will magically lose weight."

I didn't believe I was a "binge" personality, but I called anyway to ask about the study at Stanford University Medical Center. After a four hour interview with many questions and some testing I was accepted into the study. I begin next Tuesday.

I realize it must be my evening munching on "goodies" that qualified me as a binge eater. I was in denial because if I eat too much, my stomach pays me back with pain and suffering. So, I considered myself to be a "cautious" over eater. In some ways I am still in denial. It's not like I ate huge mounds of food. That's a fallacy that many people believe about those who are overweight. My problem was the high calorie density of the food I call goodies. And it is my lack of aerobic exercise that keeps my weight stable. Overweight but stable while climbing and falling the same ten pounds.

(Why I don't get enough exercise is another story)

Since I had a sudden gain over the holidays, and several days of my stomach getting even, I attempted to keep track of my intake. I threw away my goodies, and decided to just eat my healthier foods. Yet, I've been struggling. Is it habit that I spend my evenings craving food? I feel so hungry, even if I have eaten three meals plus snack per day. Is it that I want to feel that full stomach feeling? Is it a way to bury my stress? Habit... Hunger... bury stress... Maybe all three

I have altered the calorie count of my food choices and now I "binge" on salad. I mean SALAD. I live in a part of the country where salad making ingredients are plentiful all year long. So I have no excuse to not enjoy them.

Here's the recipe for tonight's binge:

272 calories 17 grams protein


1 ½ cup  SPRING MIX BABY LETTUCE - 10 calories, 1 gram protein

1 cup  BABY SPINACH  - 7 calories, 1 gram protein

½ cup chopped CELERY - 7 calories  .35 gram protein

½ cup sliced & peeled ENGLISH CUCUMBER,  - 8 calories  .34 gram protein

½ cup shredded CARROT  - 25 calories .5 gram protein

1 medium, chopped APPLE  - 35 calories  1 gram protein

½ cup TOMATO slices 20 calories 0 gram protein

½ cup  KNUDSEN FAT FREE COTTAGE CHEESE 80 calories - 13 gram protein

2 Tbsp LITEHOUSE YOGURT BLEU CHEESE DRESSING 80 calories 1 gram protein

fresh LEMON JUICE to taste

Please note:

I add water to the dressing so it will cover my salad more evenly and mix in with the cottage cheese.

It takes me about an hour to eat all this.

I'm not advertising the brand name products. They just happen to be what I use. Sure do like that salad dressing, though.

I prefer English Cucumbers because they taste better, keep their freshness longer and my tummy likes them better.

This is what Wikipedia has to say about English Cucumbers:
English cucumbers can grow as long as 2 feet. They are nearly seedless, have a delicate skin which is pleasant to eat, and are sometimes marketed as “Burpless”, because the seeds and skin of other varieties of cucumbers are said to give some people gas. Most commonly grown in greenhouses, these parthenocarpic cucumbers are often found in grocery markets shrink-wrapped in plastic.

Doctor Sherlock and the Mystery Solved

Brr! It's quite cold and windy for this time of year, and freezing at night. There is even a wind chill factor! Would you believe it, in mid-coastal California? I guess I shouldn't complain, though. Other parts of the country are still having much more serious weather than here. I've lived in New York state and Indiana. I know what that is like.

I went to see the Neurologist to find out what he would say about the recent occurrence of breakthrough seizures. Lucky for me that I carry little plastic bags of my prescriptions with me. They resemble zip-loc bags, but are smaller and thicker. I get them at the pharmacy, and put my drug labels on them, so I don't have to carry a lot of bottles in my purse. Dr. G (stands for Gorgeous!) went over them all, looking for a correlation between them and the Lamictal which I take for the seizures. He determined it doesn't seem likely that there is an interaction between my meds.

I like it when a physician is willing to play Sherlock Holmes, and try to figure out the mystery of why something is going on with a patient. He could have just played the guessing game and said, "Let's try something else and see if that helps." I can understand why a physician might do that. Sometimes it would be too time consuming. Otherwise, if one has a large practice, perhaps the easier way to challenge a problem on their best guess based upon what they might know. As for me, Dr. Sherlock Gorgeous is the most fascinating challenge, as I really have to think, and respond carefully to the questions he asks. It's really hard to describe the seizures when I am not exactly aware of all that was going on! Some things that I take for granted, he was able to pluck out of my communications, and deduce the probable cause of this latest development.

As soon as Dr. G put two and two together, he pointed out that my insomnia might be the culprit. It clicked with me right away and was so simple! Among other things I have had a life-long pattern of sleep disorder. I wont go into all the boring details. Seizure prone people apparently need their beauty rest! We discussed it and if I can just get myself back into a good sleep pattern, then I wont really need to take any sleep aids, which is my preference. In the meantime, I have a prescription for break through seizures.

Finally! A chance to go for my walk! Since I was nowhere near home, traffic was heavy, and the wind still so cold, I opted for walking in the mall. It is nice and flat in there. I spent nearly an hour walking. Though, I did dawdle a little bit, and at one point I did break down and buy something. I wouldn't mind walking in the mall regularly, but I would have to leave my purse in the car!

A Day of Revelation - Personal Journal

"When the Cat Lady sleeps well and awakens refreshed it is because she sleeps with a cat sitting on her chest, purring in her face! The cat is her instant alarm with whiskers ticking her nose." You may quote me on that.

The preacher man at the holiday party was slimmer than the last time I saw him. I didn't think too much of it when he told those interested that he had done it the "easy" way. All he did was use a free online site where he recorded his daily intake of food. After the holidays I suddenly realized I had quickly, the easy way, gained too many pounds from over-grazing the highly laden table for several days. I was in shock. Had I really nibbled that many calories? How could I be so blind as to not notice. After all, I had gotten sick from the overindulgences. That's more than a subtle hint. But in my mindlessness, I didn't notice until too late.

Yet, the scale does not lie. I called to learn what the site was my Reverend Grandson had referred to. I signed up and have to agree, it is the easy way. There's no pressure, no insistent articles. No ridiculous ads. It is straightforward and useful. As long as I record my daily intake I naturally begin to limit portions and think twice about having seconds. I've also incorporated some exercise. (It's about time!) And spent more time contemplating and meditating.

The results have been mixed. I've lost ten pounds, but have gained back two. There is a place on the site where one can record one's exercise. It provides you with the calories burned for those exercises. Can you believe? You burn calories just sleeping! Hmm. I wonder if it is more if there's a cat on your chest. After all, one must work harder to breathe. RIght?

I went for a walk down by the ocean this morning realizing that I was in a low mood, and discouraged that I am not putting my all into this. The dichotomy is that I am doing too much. The intentions of my mind are stronger than my body. It betrays me! My body has it's weaknesses and cannot live up to the pressure I put on it to perform. For example: I had breakthrough seizures (Simple Partial) after my walk and it left me "out of sorts" for most of the afternoon. I struggle with clarity afterwards, feel unfocused and somewhat fuzzy. I don't like it. It's annoying. Will be seeing doctor tomorrow afternoon and I intend to discuss this with him. I am pretty sure he will encourage me to follow through on the walking program, but I hope there is some method or treatment to prevent the same results I had today.

Upon reflection I think about how, when I am well rested, that I don't have this problem. After a sleepless night, the seizures are more likely to occur. Perhaps I need more cats to sleep with me. Eh? I also have some books on gentle exercise. I have the feeling I need to pull them out from the shelves and re-read them to refresh my resolve.

Cemetary

Today, I drove into parking lot at my doctor's office which overlooks the cemetary. I've always thought it odd his office should be located there where patients can have the visual reminder. I felt just a tinge of irony until I saw several people walking the paths wearing Ipods or just talking with one another, a guy on a bike.

The juxtaposition of the very much living with the very far gone away threw me back in time... sitting in the car with friends driving through to the end where the pond was, throwing stones and munching on treats.

Still, even the boys wanted to make sure we got back to the car and out of there before the sun went down. No one made jokes or poked fun at one another for feeling squeamish, it was just an unspoken understanding that it was time to leave.

Rio Del Mar Beach, Aptos California

Had trouble falling asleep last night. Many cramps in legs. Hmm!

Rainy night. Strong windy day.

I wasn't able to pull myself together enough to go out early to walk. Bones too creaky. Too many emails to handle. Cat needed cuddling. Excuses!


Then... Earthquake!

Yup. But, just a little one. Epicenter, if you can call it that a little off shore, from Watsonville, in the Monterey Bay. Really, it was very minor and one of 13 in the area today. Thank heavens for those short shifts! I live only about 10 miles from the previous epicenter of the Loma Prieta Quake (1989).

I finally put on some sweats, (still cold and windy out) and got in the car to drive over to Aptos beach to walk. I parked at the beginning of the half a billion dollar homes, well okay, maybe they are only quarter billion. Once I got my pedometer on, and started walking I had an "oh, no" moment. I had forgotten to change shoes!! I left my Lucky Pink's at home. Darn it! Oh well, slip-ons just had to do.

So, this sidewalk was slanted too. It is across the street from the crazy rich homes. Crazy, because you would have to be crazy to live there. A huge cliff that produces mudslides every winter faces the backs of those homes. The sand and ocean is literally is at the front doors. That is, separated from the sand my only a street and the walk. Well, at least most of them have their first floor as the garage only. I have seen some pretty bad damage on that street. So, I guess it is okay to be crazy if one wants to pay big flood/mudslide insurance (act of God insurance?) and pay for rebuilding when the mud oozes through your kitchen into the living room and right out the balcony and plops down onto the front driveway where the ocean washes the mud away. Still, I wouldn't mind living there just for the incredible view, and the sound of the surf. On the other hand, it is the one and only street that leads to the state park beach. In the summer it is crowded with tourists. The rest of the year it's either surfers or whales washing up on shore. I have a recording of ocean sounds, I think will satisfy me.

And you thought I was going to write about how nice it was by the sea... the seagulls, the sunshine, the waves, the breezes, the warm sand, the beachcombers. Yes, it is all that, and more! It was hard to just enjoy the beauty when my shins were burning, though. My slip-on shoes were not meant to be supportive walkers! I will NOT forget my Lucky Pinks tomorrow. You can bet on it! I want to be in good enough shape for my trip to Vermont that I walk along the shores of Lake Champlain and just hang my mouth open in wonder and joy, forgetting to take pictures.

I didn't care for the inclined, not flat, sidewalk. So I crossed the street to walk along the front of the nice homes. Many people sitting out on their verandas or patios nodded or said hello. Nice people! I wonder if they do that during tourist season, too. I remember how sociable everyone was on New Year's Eve. The whole street was it's own double party. The tourists below on the sand with their bonfires giving toasts to the hosts. The householders out on their balconies in their dress clothes lifting their glasses to their guests. It was a surreal and happy new year where everyone seemed truly happy. What year was that? I forget. But, it was so kewl!

I was determined that I would at least walk as far as the end of the homes, where the public restrooms begin. I did have to stop a couple of times to just stand there and breathe. Coming back, I decided I could handle the sidewalk as the slant evened out my leg length discrepancy. I managed quite well with that, except for the areas where the sand had blown across the pavement. Loose sand is not easy to walk on, when you are as out of practice as I am. Soon, I had lost my momentum, and the pain slowed me down considerably. Other walkers were passing me by, even an old lady with a dog! The jogger, (Bless him!) ran by me, back and forth, so many times, it was Déjà Vu, all over again. Along the sidewalk is a sort of metal bar fence. (something to hang onto when the wind is blowing hard, or the waves are rushing by) I stopped four times, and pushed my spine up against them to help relieve the pain. The burning shins were gone by this time. It was my rib cage and shoulders that were complaining. Next time, I will probably need to take something for pain before I go out, just to keep it to a dull roar. It's very distracting. At least when I am home, in the car, visiting someone's home, I can squirm or change position, or even lie down if need be. But, I had to continue walking. My car was not going to come pick me up. Hey! that's a good idea. You know. They have those cars now that will park for you, and the ones that will watch out for drivers sneaking up on your blind side. They need to invent one that will unpark itself and drive up to whereever you are. That would be great for when you come out of the grocery store and can't remember where in the world you parked your car, too.

Now, see! Who's crazy now. This crazy lady who calls the beach home owners crazy! That's who.

I just need to keep on working on this until my body is as ambitious as my mind wants it to be. It's not like I can't do it... I can.

That last 99 steps I counted myself, just to put my mind off the invisible Samurai jabbing me along with his ancient sword. It was with a sigh of relief, as well as pride when I got in the car. I actually had broken a sweat! Though my body was throbbing and complaining even after I sat down, I was happy to see the numbers on the pedometer.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention... the pedometer says I took 3599 steps!!

My reliable, old, 1987 Dodge tells me that I went a mile. Aren't there only supposed to be 2850 steps in a mile?

These Shoes Were Made for Walking

4-10-07

Didn't sleep well last night, and I received an early phone call. It was Amy, who is the dog walker for Karen, the neighbor who shares her cat, Cinnamon with me. I had previously asked if I could walk with Amy when she takes Karen's dogs out. So, I went her. I was a little disappointed though, as Amy didn't want to take them but more than a block away. The Dachshund was raring to go, and keep on going, but the "redbone" hound that Karen adopted from Katrina (the hurricane/flood) was much slower. Mahree apparently is old, and has arthritis. At one point she literally stood still. I could tell how she was feeling as my arthritis does that to me, too. Sometimes just taking another step seems impossible. I wonder if they have anti-inflammatories for dogs.

Since I didn't walk very far, I won't "count it" as a walk.

Later, when Liz came home, we went walking, ( meandering). But we did 3,282 steps by going in the other direction than before. We stopped halfway and sat on a bench that one of her friends has in her front yard and chatted with her. She gave us cuttings of one of the flowers in her yard that I hope to plant.

I am proud of myself. It seems so incredible to me. Over 3,000 steps and no real negative after effects.

I spent the rest of the day on the computer trying to arrange for a flight so that Xavier, my son, and I can go to Texas for my parents Memorial. They both died within the last 17 months.

Since I could not find my old walking shoes, (not under the bed, not in the closet. Did I toss them?) this evening I went to Ross discount store and bought me a pair of Skechers for only $17. As my mother would say, if she were here, "they're ugly as sin". But they are Pink! I love them! They will be comfortable for this summer as they are sandals.

Getting the shoes was one more goal acheived....