Forgetting to Remember

I forget where I put my glasses
I forget why I took them off.
I forget I have them on top of my head.
I forget they are right over my eyes!

I forget where I put my keys
when I'm holding them in my hand,
or stuck in the front door all night long
I lock myself out of my house or car.

To protect myself from forgetting,
I bought five sets of keys
Now there are only two.
I forget what happened to the rest.

I forget where I put important papers:
checkbooks, medical bills, tax receipts.
I forget how to balance my checkbook,
how to do math.
I used to work as a bookkeeper for a big corporation.
How is that?

I put books in the car to return to the library,
forget they are there...
for months
and pay fines I cannot afford.

I forget appointments with the doctor,
my friends, my lover.
So tired of explaining myself when I forget.
I tell little lies instead.
Traffic was bad, an emergency came up,
sorry I couldn't call to let you know.

I forget to look at my hand
For the reminders I have written on my skin.

From moment to moment I forget what day it is.
I look at my calendar first thing in the morning,
last thing at night, throughout the day
to put into my brain what day it is, what I have scheduled.
But, later I forget.

I don't realize until hours after the time passed me by,
Suddenly, something on the radio or TV reminds me
it’s Tuesday, not Friday. It’s 5 p.m. not three.
I run to look at my calendar,
the missed appointment is now going to cost me $50.
Another day I look at my calendar,
see my appointment is for 2 o'clock p.m.
Promptly forgetting, and instead show up at 11 a.m.
This really happened.
At least, I was ahead of time,

I forget where I put the phone just after using it,
only to discover that it is right beside me,
and I wonder how it got there.
I thought I looked there a moment ago.
It wasn't there. I’d swear.
Or was it?

I forget phone numbers.
Why can't I remember them?
I have to look them up in my little black book,
wherever that is!
I tell myself to always put it back in my purse.
Not there.
I look inside my purse over and over again,
not recognizing what is in front of me.

I thought I knew where I was going
from one room to the other.
I forget why, and return to where I was
in order to remember,
and start again, forgetting again.

I forget that I drew money out of my checking account,
a lot of money.
Then, I am shocked for bounced checks fines.

I forget I am cleaning a closet,
and go to do the dishes.
I forget  I am doing the dishes
and go to the desk to write myself a note.
I forget I am looking for a pen
and start cleaning out the drawer.
Then remember the  mess sitting by the closet
and begin there again.
Then, the pan that is sitting on the stove smokes
Setting off the smoke alarm.
When did I turn on the stove?

Elizabeth Munroz - February 07, 2001

~~~~~~~~

Note: That was then. This is now. I realize it was not as bad as I believed.

Highlights from a Day in the Life...

Insomnia til 3 AM. Awake at 6. Wow! I got three straight hours. Kitty brings his mousie. I throw. He chases and returns with his prize, over and over again. He tires before I do, panting on the bed, mousie between his paws. I envy his droopy eyes. Too awake, I fix tea and toast, turn on the computer, check email. A good friend is diagnosed. Not the way to begin a day. I cry.

Phone rings, I miss the call, the important call I was waiting for. I can't call them back. Drats! I trip over kitty while getting the snail mail, there's the utility bill! Need I say more?

I crawl back into bed, a book in my hand. I awaken confused, a half hour before my appointment. Throw on yesterday's clothes, still wearing slippers, I run out of the house, my snarls wearing the hair brush.

Since I arrived late, I have to wait for the other patients to be seen first. On the way home, I stop at the fruit stand to enjoy a brief respite, drooling over strawberries, melon, banana, and fresh baked raisin bread. My rewards for a rough day.

Lugging my treasures through the parking lot, I realize my car has the keys locked inside, and trudge back into the store. I need to use their phone as my cell is with the keys! I call a taxi to take me home and wait while I break into my house to find spare keys and return me. I have to pay for the wait time as well as mileage. Forty seven bucks for strawberries, melon, banana, and raisin bread!

Finally, at home I can relax, take this morning's pills, settle down with a cup of tea, talk on the cell. While I grab the channel selector to watch the news, my cell falls into the tea!

Time to go to bed and hope for sleep.