Dear Biggest Loser,
I cried tonight watching when Corey fell, not once, but twice and he didn't get a chance to make it over the finish line.
I cried when he said he wants to lose weight, but he doesn't understand why he keeps eating. And while he's eating he keeps asking himself why, while a part of him says to stop, but he continues to eat anyway.
I cried when I saw the oxygen mask over his face and the Emergency vehicles ready to take him away. I cried as I took what was left of my carrot cake I had been munching on while watching the show, and tossed it in the garbage.
I'm like Corey. I know my health is quite seriously in danger. I really want to lose weight. But, I still eat incorrectly and while I'm doing it (or not eating at all) I still ask myself why and still do it anyway. There's no part of me telling me to stop, though. It's more like, "Shhh... don't think about it."
And I would be like Korey trying to run a mile. I would fall down too. Not only can I not walk a mile. I cannot run at all. I haven't been able to run since my leg popped out of it's socket. I did it twice and then that was it. I never ran again.
I had a rare bone cancer starting when I was 22. I had seven recurrences for eleven years. A portion of my pelvis was removed along with some pelvic floor muscles, as well as a muscle on the inside of my leg. There is no built-in prosthesis holding me together.
Originally, I was told, if I survived, I would never walk. But, I did walk, and have had to get out of a wheelchair and learn to walk again more than once. I've done the best I can all these years. I'm 65 now. Even with my eating the wrong foods, I'm still able to keep my (over) weight stable these last 15 years. But, I'm afraid as I become more inactive I will gain more.
I know I have gone against the odds so many times and learned I have something in me that fights even when I think I have given up. But, this part of me that cannot eat right, wont eat right, defeats me.
I keep wondering how soon it will be when I'm in a wheelchair again, and at what point I wont be able to make myself walk. There's longevity in my family. I don't want to spend the next 30 years unable to walk.
I don't need to lose hundreds of pounds. If my goal weight were to be the healthy weight I had at age 18, I would only need to lose 60 pounds. But, I know my challenge to lose that amount of weight would be just as difficult for my body and mind as if I had hundreds of pounds to lose.
I doubt I would be accepted for the show. I have other medical problems that would probably disqualify me.
I wish you would have a Biggest Loser season where you help disabled people to lose weight and show us how to do it with adaptations equal to our physical capabilities. Could you do a Biggest Loser show like that? If you do, I bet it would be the biggest challenge that Bob and Jillian (and Dr. Huizenga) have ever faced.
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Welcome
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Make yourself at home. Put your feet up. Grab your favorite beverage and prepare to enjoy the reads.
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Make yourself at home. Put your feet up. Grab your favorite beverage and prepare to enjoy the reads.
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Wednesday
5 comments:
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I'm the same as you...and Corey. I try to stop eating and I really do okay for a while.
ReplyDeleteLike you I also have health issues. Hey, biggest Loser, how about a show that walks through how we with health issues can do the same without killing ourselves?!
That was a great idea...I wish they would consider it!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth ~ what beautiful photos of you today ~ althouth the "fed up" expression in the 2nd one really made me smile.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard losing weight, and we all gain it as we get older. And you have more of an excuse than most of (since your mobility is limited). There's no easy answers. I try to keep a really good range of my favourite fruit to hand so I can snack on fruit rather than biscuits and cake. Fortunately I LOVE fruit.
I find exercise for exercises sake quite frankly boring! So I try to do thinks that give me exercise without me noticing (light gardening, gentle walks, even wandering around the shops etc). And i eat smaller portions than I used to eat ~ a smaller plate helps you remember to do this.
But do you know, speaking as a friend, I love you whatever your weight. You are one of the most beautiful souls I have met and I don't mind saying it publically. Friends like you are rare to find ~ and I cherish you.
Jan xx
Ciss, I can totally relate! I do okay for a while, too. Even so, it doesn't budge the scale!
ReplyDeleteMaria, Thanks. I don't think they'll consider it. Too troublesome. I'd wager.
Jan, Thank you very much. My problem is not eating a balanced diet. Sometimes nothing at all, due to no appetite. Fruit is a staple, but I think it is my inactivity that fails me, not to mention my lack of motivation... asking why but still eating cake anyway.
I'd rather be cherishable than perishable ;-) Thank you! I feel the same way!
Very moving....I like your show idea.
ReplyDelete