Two Bucks

I love to give out Two dollar bills.

 I had a stash of them I'd been saving for family Christmas gifting. I usually put them in with a card attached to a gift. My mother always said they were good fortune lucky money. 

"If you get a $2, put it away in a secret spot, and you will never be broke." Then she would smile and wink.

I never figured out what the wink was for until adulthood it finally dawned on me. It was true. It had nothing to do with luck. It had to do with the fact that as long as you still had that two dollar bill stashed away, you really weren't broke, even if you didn't have another penny to your name!. 

Now that Mom is gone and my children are all grown up, I give two dollar bills to my Grandkids and say the magic words my mom always said, but this generation is too smart to fall for it! They are the ones who wink at me! 

*sigh*

Descendants of Jan Jansen Brouwer

Descendants of Jan Jansen Brouwer

1   Jan Jansen Brouwer
........ 2   Adam Berkhoven Brouwer 1624 - 1692
.............. +Magdalena Verdon Jacobs
................... 3   Matthew Matthys Brouwer 1649 - 1726
......................... +Marritie Pieters
.............................. 4   Samuel Brouwer 1673 -
.................................... +Grietje Hendrick Smith
......................................... 5   Johannes Brouwer 1702 - 1778
............................................... +Elizabeth Conklin
.................................................... 6   Peter Brewer 1740 - 1804
.......................................................... +Elizabeth Stone 1749 - 1828
.............................................................. 7   [1] James Brewer 1780 - 1843
.................................................................... +[2] Hapsabeth Grimes 1787 - 1854
......................................................................... 8   [3] Aseneth Brewer 1807 - 1905
............................................................................... +[4] Robert Chase
......................................................................... 8   [5] Daniel Brewer 1809 - 1902
............................................................................... +[6] Juliana
......................................................................... 8   [7] Amy Brewer 1811 - 1819
......................................................................... 8   [8] James Jr. Brewer 1813 - 1860
............................................................................... +[9] Emmaline
......................................................................... 8   [10] Elizabeth Brewer 1815 - 1908
............................................................................... +[11] Nelson Kingman
......................................................................... 8   [12] Melissa Brewer 1818 - 1819
......................................................................... 8   [13] Jesse Brewer 1820 - 1901
............................................................................... +[14] Mary Jane Johnson
......................................................................... 8   [15] Joel C. Brewer 1822 - 1877
............................................................................... +[16] Jane L.
......................................................................... 8   [17] Nelson Brewer 1825 - 1918
............................................................................... +[18] Charlotte E.
......................................................................... 8   [19] Clark S. Brewer 1826 - 1900
............................................................................... +[20] Sylvia Cynthia Tiffany 1832 - 1907
.................................................................................... 9   [21] James Curtis Brewer 1852 -
.......................................................................................... +[22] Prudence Brown
............................................................................................... 10   [23] Blanche Brewer
..................................................................................................... +[24] Fred Hall
............................................................................................... 10   [25] Sylvia Brewer
..................................................................................................... +[26] West or Wright Bloch
.................................................................................... 9   [27] Ida L. Brewer 1851 -
.......................................................................................... +[28] Wallace W. Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [29] Ola E. Davis 1882 -
.................................................................................... 9   [30] Carrie Stella Cynthia Brewer 1863 - 1933
.......................................................................................... +[31] Alfred James Davis 1863 -
............................................................................................... 10   [32] Orilla Davis 1884 - 1947
..................................................................................................... +[33] Myron Rockwell Borden 1869 - 1930
............................................................................................... *2nd Husband of [32] Orilla Davis:
..................................................................................................... +[34] Horace Redington 1877 -
............................................................................................... 10   [35] Sylvia Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [36] Clark Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [37] Eva Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [38] Terrence Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [39] Herman Davis 1907 - 1975
..................................................................................................... +[40] Mary Rose
............................................................................................... 10   [41] Viola Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [42] Mary Davis
.................................................................................... 9   [43] Fred S. Brewer 1866 -
.......................................................................................... +[44] Anna L. Taylor
............................................................................................... 10   [45] Archie V. Brewer 1888 -
............................................................................................... 10   [46] Glenn F. Brewer 1892 -
............................................................................................... 10   [47] Clark B. Brewer 1896 -
............................................................................................... 10   [48] Thelma Brewer 1904 -
............................................................................................... 10   [49] Harold Brewer 1907 -
............................................................................................... 10   [50] Fay Brewer
.............................................................. 7   Susannah Brewer 1768 -
.................................................................... +Samuel Cypher
.............................................................. 7   John Brewer 1769 -
.............................................................. 7   Hester Brewer 1771 - 1835
.................................................................... +Elihu Townsend
.............................................................. 7   Hannah Brewer 1772 -
.................................................................... +Caleb Gregory
.............................................................. 7   Miriam Brewer 1776 - 1857
.................................................................... +Edward Haines
.............................................................. 7   William Brewer 1774 -
.............................................................. 7   Samuel Brewer 1778 - 1864
.................................................................... +Charlotte Whitney
.............................................................. 7   Anna Brewer 1782 -
.................................................................... +John Haines
.............................................................. 7   Betsy Brewer 1784 -
.................................................................... +Nathaniel English
.............................................................. 7   Daniel Brewer 1786 -
.............................................................. 7   Sade Brewer 1787 - 1788
.............................................................. 7   Jacob Brewer 1787 - 1788
.............................................................. 7   Aaron Brewer 1789 -
.............................................................. 7   Peter Brewer 1791 - 1866
.................................................................... +Mary Terns Ferner
.............................................................. 7   Abraham Brewer 1793 -
.................................................................... +Annie Eggleston
.................................................... *2nd Wife of Peter Brewer:
.......................................................... +Elizabeth Stone 1749 - 1829
.............................................................. 7   [1] James Brewer 1780 - 1843
.................................................................... +[2] Hapsabeth Grimes 1787 - 1854
......................................................................... 8   [3] Aseneth Brewer 1807 - 1905
............................................................................... +[4] Robert Chase
......................................................................... 8   [5] Daniel Brewer 1809 - 1902
............................................................................... +[6] Juliana
......................................................................... 8   [7] Amy Brewer 1811 - 1819
......................................................................... 8   [8] James Jr. Brewer 1813 - 1860
............................................................................... +[9] Emmaline
......................................................................... 8   [10] Elizabeth Brewer 1815 - 1908
............................................................................... +[11] Nelson Kingman
......................................................................... 8   [12] Melissa Brewer 1818 - 1819
......................................................................... 8   [13] Jesse Brewer 1820 - 1901
............................................................................... +[14] Mary Jane Johnson
......................................................................... 8   [15] Joel C. Brewer 1822 - 1877
............................................................................... +[16] Jane L.
......................................................................... 8   [17] Nelson Brewer 1825 - 1918
............................................................................... +[18] Charlotte E.
......................................................................... 8   [19] Clark S. Brewer 1826 - 1900
............................................................................... +[20] Sylvia Cynthia Tiffany 1832 - 1907
.................................................................................... 9   [21] James Curtis Brewer 1852 -
.......................................................................................... +[22] Prudence Brown
............................................................................................... 10   [23] Blanche Brewer
..................................................................................................... +[24] Fred Hall
............................................................................................... 10   [25] Sylvia Brewer
..................................................................................................... +[26] West or Wright Bloch
.................................................................................... 9   [27] Ida L. Brewer 1851 -
.......................................................................................... +[28] Wallace W. Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [29] Ola E. Davis 1882 -
.................................................................................... 9   [30] Carrie Stella Cynthia Brewer 1863 - 1933
.......................................................................................... +[31] Alfred James Davis 1863 -
............................................................................................... 10   [32] Orilla Davis 1884 - 1947
..................................................................................................... +[33] Myron Rockwell Borden 1869 - 1930
............................................................................................... *2nd Husband of [32] Orilla Davis:
..................................................................................................... +[34] Horace Redington 1877 -
............................................................................................... 10   [35] Sylvia Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [36] Clark Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [37] Eva Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [38] Terrence Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [39] Herman Davis 1907 - 1975
..................................................................................................... +[40] Mary Rose
............................................................................................... 10   [41] Viola Davis
............................................................................................... 10   [42] Mary Davis
.................................................................................... 9   [43] Fred S. Brewer 1866 -
.......................................................................................... +[44] Anna L. Taylor
............................................................................................... 10   [45] Archie V. Brewer 1888 -
............................................................................................... 10   [46] Glenn F. Brewer 1892 -
............................................................................................... 10   [47] Clark B. Brewer 1896 -
............................................................................................... 10   [48] Thelma Brewer 1904 -
............................................................................................... 10   [49] Harold Brewer 1907 -
............................................................................................... 10   [50] Fay Brewer
.................................................... 6   Deliverance Brewer 1736 -
.......................................................... +Elizabeth Sie
.................................................... 6   Engeltje Brewer 1738 -
.......................................................... +John SyfferSypher
.................................................... 6   Matthew Brewer 1742 -
.......................................................... +Christina VanWert
.................................................... 6   Jacob Brewer 1744 -
.......................................................... +Abigail Jurckse Yerkus 1755 -
.................................................... 6   Helena Brewer 1746 -
.................................................... 6   Johannes Brewer 1750 -
.................................................... 6   Margaret Brewer 1752 -
......................................... 5   Fytje Brouwer 1699 -
......................................... 5   Pieter Brouwer 1703/04 -
......................................... 5   Samuel Brouwer 1706 -
......................................... 5   Maritje Brouwer 1708 -
......................................... 5   Margrietje Brouwer 1710/11 -
......................................... 5   Samuel Brouwer 1714 -
......................................... 5   Neeltje Brouwer 1716 -
.............................. 4   Pieter Brouwer
.............................. 4   Hendrick Brouwer
.............................. 4   Willemje Brouwer
.............................. 4   Marritie Brouwer
.............................. 4   Annetie Brouwer
.............................. 4   Johannes Brouwer
.............................. 4   Jannetje Brouwer

Click here to see more: 

Home for the Holidays

455 Park Av, Youngstown NY Dad admiring his Christmas present 1969

Wild: a Review

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
by Cheryl Strayed

Strayed was raised in Minnesota, and now lives in Portland, Oregon. Her writing has appeared in a number of magazines. She's the winner of many writing prizes too many to list.. She has an MFA. She's married to the filmmaker, Brian Lindstrom, and has two children.

WILD is such an award winner, it is being published in eighteen other languages and has been optioned for film by Reese Witherspoon's movie production company, (Pacific Standard).

A friend of mine not only suggested I read it, but insisted. I didn't understand why. After all, I am not a wilderness backpacking kind of person. But Brian knows me well enough to realize I would enjoy this memoir even before it became a #1 New York Times bestseller.

How many of you have gone to Burning Man? Gone camping or backpacking overnight? Just think about it a minute. Lots of things can go wrong. How well prepared were you? How many would NEVER want to do those things? In either case, one does not need to have had a wilderness experience to enjoy this book.

This memoir is about how, when at age 22, Cheryl’s mother dies. Her grief is so strong it obliterates everything she ever thought she was. She drops out of college with one class to go. She causes the demise of her marriage, and takes on a lot of dangerous self-destructive behavior. Her life falls apart and by the end of four years she is lost and disconnected, unable to find purpose. Her life is going nowhere and she wants to make a major change. She wants to heal herself. She wants to leave that old life behind her and make a fresh start. So, she decides to hike from the Mojave desert to the Oregon border following the Pacific Crest Trail. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t do that by walking a thousand miles all by myself... alone,....  out in the wilderness without the necessities of life! I think I’d rather do a stint for a week of Burning Man with 50,000 wild people if I wanted to effect a major change!

The author’s style of writing easily takes you directly into her feelings of grief, loss, and questioning identity we have all experienced. She writes facts clearly and does an excellent job presenting details without bogging down. One thing in particular I liked about the way she wrote her memoir is that she is able to create a vivid scene to grab you in, then switch back to the base story behind it. I usually don’t like that in a book, but found her writing seamless, sensibly honest and yet shockingly bold, raw and intimate. She bares her soul like an open wound. Her descriptions of nature are so vivid that if you didn’t know she was alone on that trail, you might think you were with her.

Anyone could tell the tale of their wilderness experience, but very few could tell it with the same impact. I'd like to say this was a book I couldn't put down. I'd like to say it's a complete read through, that it took only a day to read. Nope! Not the case for me. Truly it's a page turner. But, like a beautiful work of art, I could only absorb so much in one sitting, it was so intense and rich. Yet, I couldn't wait to get back to reading it again as soon as possible. And I have now read it twice.

This memoir will resonate with anyone who has struggled with life's challenges even if one has no desire to go backpacking. I think Wild has a universal appeal. It's what Joseph Campbell referred to as "The Hero's Journey".

Sometimes life brings challenges that beat us down. We all learn something from those circumstances. Sometimes it takes years to realize what an impact our experiences have had on us. One thing we all do is gain inner strength and wisdom whether we realize it at the time or not. That's what Cheryl wrote about, and she waited twenty years to let the experiences sink in and help her to look retrospectively upon that time in her life when she literally took her life in her own hands rather than continue to suffer the path she was taking. I found the book very inspiring. To me this is the Hero... stepping out in blind faith seeking a truth only she could find. And like so many of us, it is what happens to us on the way to where we are going and how we handle it that is “The Journey”.

What can you do when you find yourself on a path, nowhere near civilization and you are suffering from freezing cold, or hunger, or dehydration in the desert? Or facing off with bears, rattlesnakes, and other wild animals? What can you do? You just have to keep going. This was the thing I found most appealing about her story. She makes it clear without any pretense that you have no other choice but to put one foot in front of the other regardless of the circumstances and keep going. Sometimes you make decisions that you regret and then you have to make new choices about how you will go on. But, truly you just have to keep going. That's what life is about. Isn't it?

This is a book that will make even the most stoic person weep. So, if you read it, unless you want to make a spectacle of yourself, don't do so at your local Starbucks or any place else in public..

I was so deeply touched by this book and very happy to learn Cheryl would be speaking at the Capitola Book Cafe, I could hardly wait. But, I was too ill that day to attend. My disappointment was so strong that two weeks later, I drove 120 miles to Point Reyes to hear her speak. It was well worth the effort, and when I told her that my friend, Brian, encouraged me to read her book I had to laugh when she said... “Oh? Brian is my best friend!”

It's funny how things are connected.

Mom's Best Friend 1960 Letter

Darrell and Myrna Wakely 1950's

For historical and genealogical reference:

December 14, 1960

Dearest Gennie,

Well I guess it’s time I answered your letters.

It sure has been cold for the last 2 days. But then, I guess it’s nothing compared to what you are getting up North!

Jerry and Darrell are both working for a fruit packing co. Jerry going on 2 weeks and Darrell one. It seems good to not have them under foot, but I miss my babysitter.

Roy is working from 12 AM until 8 am. So he is home all day now and it’s just like a mad house. I never get my work done. I hate it.

I was so in hopes we would be in the house by xmas. But that is another dream up in smoke. He hasn't done anything since it was plastered and tiled except make five windows and fix one closet. I guess he isn't going to. I asked him today if we couldn't buy the furnace. He says, “what with?” and we really aren't that hard up. God, he is a pinch penny. I don’t blame him for not wanting to spend all he has in the bank. But I don’t see how he can take this place either.

At least he has been home every day for nearly 2 weeks. I don’t know what happened to him. But I hope it continues

Gee, xmas will soon be here and I don’t have a bit of xmas spirit. Do you? I don’t like the holidays anymore.

Well I have all my uppers out except four and I've really had a time with them. My face was black and blue. This is the second week, and I've had enough jaw bone out to make a soup!

Well anyway they are all better now and I’m not going back until after xmas, as he said I need a rest and I agree, It sure took a heck of a lot out of me.

Roy Wakely, Erie, PA 1950's

Dam, my feet are cold. Mr. Brandy and Princess are sleeping. That is good, as I could just take one and knock the other in the head. I don’t usually feel that way

I sure hope your problems are dissolving and your life will be happier. At the best, life is hard isn't it? I've already received some xmas cards. I almost feel like Scrooge. Bah Humbug!

I haven’t seen Myrna and kids since Friday but I guess they are all fine.

I've got to go to the toilet and Roy is in there. Guess he has rented it. It sure look’s funny to see him stand there with the toilet seat in his one hand and Ha Ha in the other. Then, when you want to flush the dam thing, you have to reach on the back as the handle is broke. Well I hope he freezes his hand. Then maybe he will get busy. It’s been like that for about a year. Then he wonders why I bitch.

I've just got to get me some warmer clothes.

Wanda’s daughter is in the hospital. At first they thought she had polio or a virus infection of the spine but they still don’t know what it is. She can’t walk. Well anyway I guess she is better but still can’t walk.

I guess my husband is looking at furnaces in the catalogue. I hope he buys one, as I’m mean when I’m cold. And I’m cold.

Well I can’t think of any more this time except I love you very much, and when you are unhappy so am I. Just remember that everyone has problems.

The best way is to pray, and you really get the strength to go on. I know that the Lord is up there, and I know that it has sure helped me to keep my senses in my hum drum world because when I need Him, I can just feel Him. So, I know that He will help me, and protect me. Well, anyway, it is a wonderful feeling. And without that thought, I doubt that I could stay sane, as sometimes it’s pretty rough around here.

I don’t pray for me. I pray the Lord will just comfort me and give me strength. I'd I swear I do get strength, almost like I could feel His presence, and I know I’m not worthy. But I pray to Him a lot and hope, in my feeble way, He forgives me and loves me. I've never told this to anyone. But I hope you try it. Because if I couldn't have this feeling, I’d be more lost than even you was. At best, there is very little pleasure or comfort around here so, you see, I sure need something strong to cling to.

Love always
Laura and All

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laura Wakely is my "Godmother", always called her "Aunt" Laura
Roy Wakely is my "Godfather", always called him Uncle Roy. He had black hair
Myrna Wakely is their daughter, (first born) was blond and pin-curled my hair
Darrell Wakely is their son. He had big blue eyes and was quite tall and my brother's best friend
I was baptized in St. Stephen's Episcopal Church, NF, NY
They were not Episcopalian, but somehow that issue was avoided. If I recall correctly Aunt Laura was a Baptist.

Princess and Brandi were their dogs. They always had pets and Laura was very fond of them.

They previously lived at 812 Ross St. Erie, Pennsylvania and moved to Cocoa Beach, Merritt Island, Florida. This letter to my Mom was written there.

At this date (2012) Laura and Roy have passed away. I believe Myrna (Courtney) and Darrell still live in Florida.

I don't know who Jerry is.

James Deane for President

He's my Daddy

He comes home from work
wearing his grey striped
overalls covered with
Vanadium dust.

I think he is the
President
of the United States
I'm close.
He is the President
of his Union

"Carry me. Carry me."
I whine and beg.

He's so tall,
when he lifts me up,
I can feel the sky!
Well, not the sky, really,
but the ceiling is
almost the sky.

I can touch the place
where he fell through
one day, when he worked
fixing something in the attic
as I sat in my high chair
just a moment before.

They tell me I wasn’t there,
That it happened to my brother.
Perhaps I was there,
Waiting to be born.

Elizabeth Munroz

Longing

A mother's love is unrequited

when the years have gone by

and the nest is empty.


It's not true

that life goes on

without them.


Life, goes with them.

That's why they call it

an empty nest.

~~
Elizabeth Munroz

Dedicated to my mother, and my kids, grand kids and great grand kids.