.
.

Welcome

.
.
Make yourself at home. Put your feet up. Grab your favorite beverage and prepare to enjoy the reads.
.

.

Wednesday

Quiet Steady Rain


Branches dance to orchestration
chimes caressed by the wind
water dripping between spaces
so many pebbles pounding the roof
gutters rush to find a way to meet with wet soil

Stretching antenna, snails head for high ground
water dive bombing around them

Trailing ants gone
safely stowed in the attic,
or deeply burrowed beneath soil.
Can they manage the onslaught
of rivulets flooding
their collapsed corridors?

Opened window listening
Sonata plays full volume.

Water splayed upon window sill
Cats shake their paws
watch with piercing eyes
to see where each drop
ends it's journey

No resounding thunder, no lightning strikes
just the windows mumbling to the whispering wind
the conversation during intermission lulls me to sleep.



Elizabeth Munroz
January 2010

Tuesday

Happy Birthday, Granny! A Poem.



Granny sits in the chair closest to the door.
She is more than ready to go home.

Overwhelmed by kids running wild,
missing her quiet cuddly cats,
their warmth on her lap,
their sweet purring.

Even Sonny,
the one who growls like a panther,
the one who yowls loud enough to wake the neighbors,
and bangs on the door when locked out,
would get lost in this ruckus.

Granny is visiting at her daughter's house
to celebrate her seventieth,
the big seven oh.
She should have stayed home,
had ice cream with the cats
listening to mellow Beatles music

The other daughter arrived
with more grandchildren.
Some other kids are here, too.
Their friends?

running around being kids, all noisy and wild.
having fun.
Granny wishes she could jump around
and have rough and tumble fun
...and scream

The others are able to ignore
most of it.
90 decibels maybe.
high piercing pitch
sudden like an ice pick
thrust through a block of ice

What will she do with the presents?
Where will they fit in her luggage?
The knick knacks and doo dads,
the shawl and afghan,
the bubble bath,
the low necked blouse and too tight pants.

They must have forgot
Granny needs nothing
she has too much of everything
just give her love.
It's enough.
Really
and maybe
some tranquility.

Granny decides to hide,
sneaks into the computer room
wishing she could email herself
as an attachment.

She is counting down the days
until she sees
Sonny and Cher again.




Elizabeth Munroz
January 2010

Monday

14 pounds of Meat

Imagine my shock today when I went to the doctor. Her assistant welcomes me. I follow him back down the hall and he tells me to hang my purse here, put my sweater there. I'm happy to oblige. Purse on hook. Sweater on chair. Then, he says, "step up on the scale".

This is not the part that I like. In fact, I prefer to not face the weight. Can't I just get on there backwards and not know the numbers? After all, I already know what they are, or at least the ball park figure, and that's what I got, a figure as big as a ball park. Just the same, this cute young man wanted me to get on the scale and so I did, mumbling the last remembered poundage from last visit to save him the trouble.

Imagine my surprise when there is now an unexpected drop in my weight. I have lost 14 pounds since the last visit in October. He congratulated me as if I were a contestant on the Biggest Loser. Suddenly, there were several staff people mulling around, also offering their praise. What? do they stand in the hall waiting for that momentous moment? It's an Oncologist's office, for heaven's sake! What do they do with the chemo patients who have lost 14 pounds in one week? Commiserate? or maybe, quietly sneak away, shaking their heads?

I'm not complaining about their attention. It gave me a clear picture that I mean a lot more to these people then I ever imagined. We know each other from over ten years, now. I will have to bring them all some candy, well, okay, some flowers.

Even Dr. C, heard the fuss in the hall and came out to see what was going on. A big smile on her face, a nod of her head and a wave as she went by. I don't know why I felt embarrassed.

The uptake on all this is that I have this evil judge living inside my head. Oh, you got one too? Yeah, well Judgy, is not to be mistaken for Judge Judy, she's so much nicer.

Judgy nudges me in all my glory and says, "What are you happy about? Knock that off! You don't have a right to be happy. You didn't do anything. You don't deserve these kudos. You can't take credit for losing this weight! It just happened by accident. You didn't count calories, or fat, or protein. you didn't eat a balanced diet. You didn't give a hoot about the quality of your nutritional intake. You certainly didn't EXERCISE!!! Lazy Bitch! This is just an illusion. There's something wrong with their scale."

It's not that Judgy hollers, it's just the fervent insistence that penetrates my usual block out mechanisms. She's right. I didn't do anything, I did work to lose the weight. It just happened. A trick of fate? Sudden water loss? I don't deserve to pat myself on the back for something I didn't earn.

I feel like a phony, a fake. I feel I've mislead all these wonderful supportive people by being a false weight loss person. I'm happy to have lost the weight. I hope it stays this way.

How did that happen, anyway? How did fourteen pounds of meat disappear from my body, just like that?



This is not what you're thinking. This is a beautiful beef tenderloin. Yes, symbolically it might represent the subject for today, but I wanted to turn this into something positive. So I highly recommend if you have a hungry omnivore craving you will find the most delicious recipe at this link.

It's my Bambi Girl starring...

HEY!!!  WHO TAKE MY NOMS?





You can vote or comment on my LOL Cat by clicking on the link. Thank you! Elizabeth

   http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=6430960&vk=lo9nWSkkxyDJUSqs3AHxlF07ODUeq2lPGk6ahuacd7Uj71rbieQm7rGBtfKeTdwaiNxHF6nlP63HbDtKdNVy4A%3d%3d

Sunday

Ever feel like giving up?

I Love Living Life. I Am Happy.
Nick Vujicic





Something to think about, to cry about, to laugh.....
Play it again, and again, if need be.

Friday

Photo Friday - Something Spiritually Inspiring





Photo taken at Capitola, California the day after a big storm when the sun was going down. The hilly area off in the distance is the Monterey Peninsula, which, due to the weather, appears to be much closer than it is. Though I am not the woman in the picture, (since I was the photographer) I look at this picture and see me. I see the longing I once had during a very dark time in my life.

See how she has her arms wrapped to her body. Longing. She's not entirely hopeless quite yet. She's still standing. Some others nearby do not seem to be even aware of her, or the incredible vision just over their shoulders. I look at the surfers as those who have jumped right into the waters of life, and are living it fully.

Just a little while ago it was raining, the daytime sky was dark, like her. The rain stopped and there was but a hope of sunlight, that is when she walked out there onto the rocks. This picture is the moment when the world rejoices in the return of the sun. She just stands there longing and hurting and suddenly, there it is, the clouds parting enough and color seeping into her heart. I like to think it is this moment captured when the inspiration enters in the next breath and the spirit is blessed. Something primeval comes alive in me at times like this, and water always has a lot to do with it.

"Watch the waves, and the more you watch, the more you will able to see the beauty of them. The more you watch, the more the subtle nuances of thought will become clear to you. And it is beautiful - but you remain the witness. You remain on the beach, You sit on the beach, or lie down in the sun, and just let the ocean do it's own work - you don't interfere.


If you don't interfere, by and by, by and by, the ocean doesn't affect you. It goes on roaring all around, but it doesn't penetrate you. It is beautiful in and of itself, but it is separate, a distance exists. That distance is real meditation, a real silence. "


From: Discourses on Tilopa's Song of Mahamudra

Thursday

Water Heater

Did you know that heating water accounts for up to 20% of your household energy costs? 

If you have a natural gas water heater then you should drain a pail of water from the hot water tank every three months or as recommended by the manufacturer. 

This will remove sediment that reduces heat transfer and lowers efficiency.


Info quoted from
Blog on Smog

Sunday

The Google Search Writing Trigger Technique

.
When writer's block hits me, this is a method I've developed to free me from the shackles.

Using one word is a well known technique for triggering writing, even if it only squeezes a single sentence from our brains. But, that is not the only part of my scheme. So hang with me, here, as we still need that one word to begin the process.

Pick a word any word.

Can't think of one?

Grab the nearest printed object. Mine says Ipod. Okay, so I grab the word, pod, and write about it.  "the pea pod was like velvet in my hand, the peas, like the food of the gods, blessed my mouth with flavor".

Yes, it's corny. But, let's not judge. Whatever you come up with will work. A stream of conciousness will suffice. (pod... dod... god... blessed.. food...). It's a trigger, not to be taken too seriously. Anything to stimulate creativity when we're wanting to unleash ourselves from our greatest enemy is a gift.

Now, take the full amount created and put it in Google search. The above one word trigger sentence brought forth a lot about peas in the google search, a lot about food. But, let's say you want something more creative to help you get moving. Something, unrelated to cooking or growing peas. In fact, let's delete the peas and anything that might bring up a food reference out of our search. Might as well get rid of the extraneous adjectives, and get a cleaner search.

pod velvet hand gods blessed mouth


Let's see what happens...



Ah ha! Look at that. Pod still wins out with food references. We can go with this or narrow down further. Even though pod was our trigger word, let's throw out the pod.

There it is! Many new trigger words to get your fingers jumping over the keyboard. Not just one.

Now, here is the important thing, and I mean important! No matter how interesting the response looks, DO NOT GO THERE! You will end up spending the next hour perusing the site and all the fascinating new information. After all, a writer is a word junky. Words call us home to luxuriate in their warm embrace. DON'T GO THERE! This is an exercise in self control. No, this is an exercise in creativity. Yes, both.

Here's what you do next. Looking at the Google responses you will see jumbled parts of sentences containing your words. This combination of phrases is enough to trigger some writing. One of my Google responses is from the site: Book of Riddles - Strolen's Citadel: A Role Playing Community

"A golden bird did in its mouth abide The serpent drank the water, ... Jewel on black velvet, pearl in the sea Unchanged but e'erchanging, eternally. .... For our ambrosia we were blessed, by Jupiter, with a sting of death. ..... A sieve/collander (Sphere of Annihilation) Though desert men once called me God, ..."

This is not an exercise in plagiarism, so it's not a good idea to turn this into a little poem. It looks like it already is part of one. If there is one turn of phrase that really stands out for you, write it down, and go from there:

Here's my example:

The serpent drank the water as the dew formed. I was more fascinated by the drops of moisture than I was of his tiny eyes staring fire into the dawn.

I don't care for serpents and I would find myself avoiding the visual stimulation to go further with this, so if I change serpent into butterfly... maybe. But, the researcher in me will want to verify if butterflies actually drink dew at dawn, unless I'm going to give myself poetic liscence, and go with the flow.

Another method is to make a list of all the significant words so that you will have something more substantial to keep you going. Perhaps create a whole piece with those words.

golden
bird
mouth
serpent
drank
water
Jewel
black
velvet
pearl
sea
Unchanged
eternally
ambrosia
blessed
Jupiter
sting
death
sieve/collander
Sphere
Annihilation
desert
men
God


I am so tempted to go into that website and discover how all those enticing phrases are related! What wonderful words these are!

We could easily spend an hour or two perusing a dictionary to delight in all the nuances of these words. Couldn't we? If you have time and no deadline to meet, enjoy yourself. See ya later. Come back when you're ready to play some more. But, If you are still in the "let's see where else this will take us" mode, stay here.

If you are still not feeling particularly creative, the simplest thing would be to make one sentence each with one of the words in it. In the past, I would have done this on small cards and put them away until later to use as triggers. But, now we can simply keep them in a document, we call, triggers list, or simply, sentence list.

Here are some examples of sentences I might create if I am totally in left brain mode:

Her hair had the sheen of a newborn black colt

The hillsides looked like velvet.

He liked the feel of the pearl handled gun.

The sea was alive with fury that day.




Later on, we can go back to these sentences and ask the who, what, where, why's, etc. and maybe a novel will be born.

If you want to go a next step further, take all the words and make a poem or story.

I won't share mine right now. I think I've got 50,000 words on the way!

Saturday

Negative Positive Polarity

.
Negative

I dislike that word immensely when it is used to suggest that it is not acceptable. We do more harm to ourselves by putting that connotation upon our thoughts and actions.

Sickness, struggles and dying are a natural part of life. If we call that negative, then we are negating ourselves  and all of humanity for experiencing them.

It is okay to say that cancer sucks.

It's okay to say the pain (physical as well as mental) is unbearable.

It's okay to say, "I'm afraid".

It's okay to say, it is time to call hospice.

It's okay to say the truth of what you are feeling without any shame, remorse or guilt. When other people judge us as being too negative about our cancer experience because we aren't fighting hard enough, or succeeding in being healed, they don't know what they're talking about, even if they are our nearest and dearest beloved one.

The worst thing anyone ever said to me during the times when I was barely hanging on, was "If only you believe it, you will be healed!" Not only was it unkind, but damaging.

It made me question whether I had a right to survive, because maybe, I was not trying hard enough, not doing it right, not keeping myself positive, not praying hard enough.

When I see people I care about struggle with these concepts I cringe. Dealing with the diagnosis, and bearing the treatments is enough for us to experience the totally of our humanity.


When we are in the pit of despair, it is okay to say it out loud. "I am in the pit of despair."

"I don't know what else to do."

"I'm not giving up. I'm just facing reality."

Keeping the "negative" feelings stifled is like a cancer in itself.

Shedding myself of these beliefs gave me the right to live whatever life I was to have in freedom. I was released from worrying about other people's judgment on how I was coping with my cancer, and relieved of the guilt I felt that somehow I deserved the cancer, that somehow I wasn't doing things right. That I was wrong to my core.

Once I accepted it's okay for me to voice my personal feelings, first to myself, then to others, whether they agreed or not, that heavy cloud of self-doubt disappeared. Accepting my real feelings, understanding them as a natural part of life, just like falling in love and giving birth, the sun shining and rain falling from the sky is what helped me to cast off the concept of judging myself for what I was experiencing.

I have had four people in my personal life, who have dealt with cancer in the past few years. One of them died. She fought for her life valiantly, and she was very good at expressing her emotions, whether anyone thought she was being negative or not.

And I daresay, anyone who could possibly believe that one dies of cancer because of expressing one's true feelings will one day understand the error of their judgment, if they should happen to be diagnosed themselves.

I like this definition of Negative:

Electrical polarity (positive and negative) is present in every electrical circuit. Electrons flow from the negative pole to the positive pole. In a direct current (DC) circuit, one pole is always negative, the other pole is always positive and the electrons flow in one direction only. 

Both are needed for the circuit to be complete, to be whole, to flow.


Those who attain perfect wisdom are forever inspired by the conviction that the infinitely varied forms of this world, in all their relativity, far from being a hindrance and a dangerous distraction to the spiritual path, are really a healing medicine.

Why? Because by the very fact that they are interdependent on each other and therefore have no separate self, they express the mystery and the energy of all-embracing love. Not just the illumined wise ones but every single being in the interconnected world is a dweller in the boundless infinity of love.

-Prajnaparmita
From "Buddha Speaks,"
edited by Anne Bancroft, 2000.

Friday

Plans for Life, not just New Years!

.

Thinking about plans for the New Year, I came across something that made me want to plan for life. So, I pulled out some of my artwork to accompany the following.
 

Practiced regularly, Thai meditations are said to lead to enlightenment by overcoming the Ten Fetters, or negative states of mind. . . and to help generate the Ten Virtues, which can be cultivated at every opportunity!

What are the Ten Fetters? The Ten Virtues?  
Find out, become aware and be inspired.





The Ten Fetters




1. Self-illusion - the belief that your ego is real


2. Ignorance - willfully causing negative mental states


3. Sensual craving - craving after objects which taste, smell, sound, feel, or look good


4. Ill-will - anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, etc.


5. Skepticism - doubt (especially self-doubt)


6. Restlessness - inability to sit still and concentrate


7. Conceit - self-centeredness


8. Attachment - to religion and rituals


9. Craving for material existence - desiring endless life on earth, or being afraid to die


10. Craving for non-material existence - desiring to die





The Ten Virtues 






1. Generosity


2. Morality


3. Non-attachment


4. Wisdom


5. Energy


6. Patience, tolerance, and forbearance


7. Honesty


8. Determination


9. Loving kindness (metta)


10. Equanimity






Adapted from The Spiritual Healing of Traditional Thailand, 
by C. Pierce Salguero (Findhorn Press, 2006).


info borrowed from 
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/ten-fetters-ten-virtues.html

Photo Friday - A Time for Reflection

.
This is where I live and how we celebrate the welcoming in of the New Year. The scenes are taken on Pacific Avenue considered the heart of town for many generations.

The college students, street musicians and strangely dressed people are a common sight in this popular area known as Downtown Santa Cruz. Actually, it looks a lot like this to me on any given day except not quite so many. The only thing missing from this video are the homeless, often seen quietly sitting in a doorway on a sleeping bag and maybe a dog, with a sign propped in front. "Please Help". It is against the law for homeless to approach anyone and verbally ask for help. It's called panhandling. So that is why the signs are used.

Wandering up and down the middle of the street with large groups of people dancing only occur at important events like Halloween and New Years. The streets are cordoned of to prevent traffic and people can enjoy the atmosphere. These events are heavily policed, not to put a damper on the big party, but to help make it a reasonably enjoyable time for everyone. Anyone not behaving respectably, carrying alcoholic beverages on their person or is obviously intoxicated are asked to leave, or arrested.

The most emotional part of any public gathering, whether it is to demonstrate a protest, celebrate an election, hold a vigil for someone, or in this case, welcome in the New Year, we meet at the heart and soul of the town, our most precious, Clock Tower.

You may ask, "Why a clock tower?" What's so important about that? It doesn't even look like a unique piece of architecture or work of art."

I cannot pass by the clock tower any time, day or night, without at least glancing at it. Inevitably a sad swallow comes to my throat and unavoidably teary eyes. I'm sure this is not only my reaction. Anyone who has lived in Santa Cruz a long time surely has the same. Newcomers catch it like a virus. They cannot know the story without it opening their heart. Strangers may be in the crowds, but how can they be surrounded with such charged energy of emotion without feeling the specialness of the place?

The clock tower has been of historical significance since Santa Cruz existed, having first been erected about 1860. It has a checkered history of it's own. But, suffice it to say that the townspeople have cherished it enough to save it many times over the century and a half it has been in existence.

It's not just the history that creates the nostalgia and empathy of the people. It is something the clock did on October 17, 1989. It stopped running, its hands stuck at 5:04 p.m. Some say that with the automatic workings of the clock, that should not have happened. Some say the clock could not help but to stop to mark the occasion.

There was a massive earthquake that day, the epicenter just a couple miles away. Most people outside the area remember the news programs showing views of San Francisco and Oakland. There was no way for news people to take videos here, as all the main roads were damaged and closed. There was no way in and no way out.

Downtown Santa Cruz, the street where the revelers are shown in this video, was covered with debris from the buildings razed by the earthquake.

What the clock tower represents is tragedy overcome by humanity. It represents loss, and recovery. It signifies an act of God, traumatic destruction, and intensely driven human cooperation in rebuilding that which was destroyed.

The clock tower is a beloved symbol. It represents our phoenix raised from the dead, our precious downtown resurrected. It is a sign of our joyous and grateful continuation. That's a good reason to gather there at midnight to celebrate. Don't you think?

I hope you will enjoy watching the video until after the countdown. If so, you will be rewarded with a very good view of the people dancing in the streets including the very happy, naked woman.

Take a good look because that's me!

(only kidding!)






Happy New Year!
 
May your blessings be many and your troubles, few.

Thursday

The War on Cold


The cold war had begun. But the children didn't know what that meant, not really.

They thought the snow was part of it, the ice, the leggings, boots, mittens, mufflers and coats. All were needed to fight the cold war.

On New Years eve they were sent to bed early, too young to stay up that late, unheard of. Their parents the lucky ones, to sing farewell to the old year. They would be having fun, a party with drinks.

Was it the hangovers that started this tradition? Give the parents a break, the children out of the way? Or was it a vestige of the past carried forward with that feeling of nagging necessity that New Years was to be brought in by the little ones.

Elsa's mother wrapped her up, gave her the noisemakers from halloween, clackers and whistles, pot lids from the cupboard, put them all in a sack.

"This is what you do," she said. "to welcome in the New Year, to get rid of all the bad things from last year. Make as much noise as you can. Make a parade. Get some other kids. March up and down the sidewalks, but only up to the corner and back. Then, afterwards we can have cocoa to drink."

Elsa thought perhaps this is part of the cold war, to make it go away.

She felt warm inside as she went to Bobby's house. His mother understood. Elsa and Bobby clanged on the pot lids, heartily yelling, "Happy New Year!" in their little child voices as they marched up the sidewalk to Janet's house.

The parents knew. This is the way it is done. And it will help the headaches from celebrating the night before, time to make the bleary eyed peep out the window go away. A quiet house, the children playing outside. That's what they did when they were little.

More children joined them, "Happy New Year! Happy New Year!" marching up the street all the way to Frankie's house. His mother wouldn't let him come outside.

That was when the children turned around, heading back to their warm houses, their mothers and cocoa. That was when snow crept into the top of Elsa's boots and melted into her socks. Her breath crystalized into her muffler making her nose red.

The sky turned grey. The trees crackled.

Good bye, Tommy.

Happy New Year, Janet and Mary.

See you tomorrow, Dickie. Are you going to have Cocoa, too?

The snow began to fall. Elsa clanged the pot lids together one more time.

She didn't yell anymore. She had done her part to fight the cold war.

Elsa thought of hot cocoa and smiled.





Please respect my copyrighted story and contact me if you wish to use any part of it.
Thank you,
Elizabeth Munroz

(total word count for today: 808)

Tuesday

Dishwasher VS. Hand Wash


I think that the average dishwasher uses too much water and electrical energy. Until everyone has an energy saving dishwasher I'm putting my own energy into washing by hand. But, some say dishwashers sterilize dishes better than hand washing. The reality is that I don't have a dishwasher, so I must add here that I have not been very conscientious about thinking green until recently. One thing I do that sterilizes my dishes just fine... I use vinegar added to water to rinse my dishes.

I probably don't have enough information to determine if hand washing is entirely better than and electric dishwasher. But, in my present circumstances I want to work with what I've got.

I once contacted the author of a website promoting ecologically sound methods of living. I asked about this dish washing issue and his response was pretty judgmental and severe, in my opinion. He was totally against dishwashers, and didn't have much regard for the so called natural product I use to wash with. His comments also included the admonition that I wasn't doing any good if I didn't have pipes going outside into a container so that I could use the grey water for the garden. And, I must do this and that. Yada, yada, yada. It was very discouraging. I began to feel like a planet Earth leech! I didn't bother to write back and tell him I don't water my garden as I have mostly native plants and adaptables growing. I also don't have a traditional lawn with grass that needs weed and feed and mowing.

It's too bad that someone with a wealth of knowledge on the subject thinks only one way. Surely, it would be nice if we could all make a cleaner footprint. But, it is not realistic to think everyone can do it at once. Some must come to it one step at a time. Like me.

Since, I am not always well, I have a supply of paper plates and plastic cutlery. I have become much more judicious in using them. I keep wondering how much it harms the environment, but who to ask? How to determine one factor against another? One paper plate, one plastic fork vs, one regular plate and fork being washed with hot water and rinsed.


Of course, it would take a mathematician to weigh the odds of how many tree resources would be used up against the water, the filtering of it by a water utility company, the heating of the water, the disposal of the water, the filtering in a public waste water utility, the spoilage of water source such a plant would empty into. Since the paper can be recycled if it is clean, or it can return to the soil more naturally (I think) perhaps the paper plate is the better option.

On the other hand, the plastic is probably not a very good option. If recycled it has a saving grace, I suppose. I simply don't have enough information to go on with this. I understand there are paper forks and knifes, but haven't found them. I'd feel better about using them than the plastic.

So, I try to do without dishes and cutlery as much as possible, eating food that is carried in my hand, an apple instead of applesauce, for example. But, then I am faced with another dilemma. What if my food has just enough moistness that it needs to be held by a paper napkin. If I use cloth, then I will need to wash it at some point. What is the cost benefit ratio of washing cloth napkins vs paper napkins. In the long run do the paper napkins waste more ecologically than the cloth napkins?

Sunday

Cat Vs. Foot... No Winner!

I just downloaded a couple hundred pictures from my camera. Most are now deleted, but there are several shots which go in succession, and this the one I chose to post to LOL cats.... You know, those "I can has cheezburger" cats. There must be a million of them floating around in cyberspace.

Though, I've created a few before, this is the one that finally made me laugh, even before I thought to caption it.

It's my kitty, Spyder, whose spontaneous reaction is priceless!

I hope you get a kick out of it, share it with your friends and help to vote it into popularity. Click on the picture to do so.

EW!!!               peepul paws iz gross!!
moar funny pictures