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Disconnected Christmas Season

I feel like I just dropped in from another planet, when I consider what's going on around me. A television show this evening was about one character searching for the meaning of Christmas. Where have I heard that one before? I am in a similar situation, searching for what is meaningful about this time of year that everyone is so involved in. I mean no offense, dear reader. I find some folks are so stressed by keeping up with traditions and social norms I wonder if it is worth it. I truly feel disconnected and outside, looking in, on what now appears so unfamiliar to me.

Bah Humbug doesn't even sum it up. It's more like what the heck is going on? At one point in my life I was very absorbed in Christmas with all the trimmings. I started my Christmas shopping in January, when everything was marked down and continued to shop throughout the year. I had a long list of people I bought gifts for. Those gifts sat in my closet waiting for the momentous occasion when someone would unwrap them, eyes aglow, and smile with satisfaction. Though that was not always the reaction I saw, I still felt good for my succeeding in providing a gift for everyone. And best of all, I thought, I wouldn't be stuck in last minute shopping hoards exhausting myself. Just the same, as the clock ticked down I found myself shopping. One cannot have a successful holiday season without stocking up on all those required food items. Then, of course, someone must prepare all that stuff, and someone must also eat it, not only at home, but at every opportunity that arises.

Today, I spent the afternoon with some friends in festive attire and shared great food and conversation. Lots of laughs and hugs accompanied the fun. This can happen any time we would like, and I wonder why we just don't do it more often. Do we really need Christmas season as an excuse to get together and have fun? Surely not. We were all dressed up in the colors of the season, red and green. Have you ever noticed that?

There seems to be an unspoken agreement among us that certain colors are to be worn at certain times of the year. Valentines day brings on the red and white. Easter has pastels. Red, White and Blue for Independence day. Black and Orange for Halloween. Brown, yellow and orange for Thanksgiving. I really don't look good in orange, nor pastels, either. I gave up dressing up in the appropriate colors a long time ago. It had no meaning for me to just go along for the sake of appearances.

Are we all pretending to have a good time so that we don't spoil another persons good time? Are we not pretending, but just caught up in the mania and following the flow of what others do? If so, then, are there others who wonder about all this besides me? Maybe I'm missing something here.

I know that getting together with family to party surely counts highest on the meaningfulness of the season. But, I'd like to believe that getting together for a family party is meaningful any time of the year.

It's not just the parties. The one I attended was lovely. But, how many parties are obligations? I overheard someone the other day say that she had 3 events to attend over the weekend and she was hosting another and it was all a nightmare for her to juggle life and family in between all that. We are not even into the second week of the month yet? Where do we draw the line?

Unlike the character in the TV show, I'm not searching for the meaning of Christmas. I'm wanting to understand how much meaning others are getting out of it all. Perhaps, then I wouldn't feel like such a Scrooge.


  1. Hi Elizabeth, it's been a while. I totally understand you and am having a very difficult time "Getting into the Christmas Spirit" this year...I am to the point of why am I bothering with this...Christmas has lost it's true meaning...I was reminded of this a few days ago when I asked one of my kids friends what they wanted for Christmas. He told me he didn't want a gift because that wasn't what Christmas was about. He told me that his Christmas gift was spending time with his family...if only more people thought like this 13 year old kid. If you ask my kids what they wanted they would give you a list a mile long...but this kid just wants to be with his family. WOW!!! You just don't see that anymore. My family used to gather for everything...birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and just for the fun of it. Now everyone is to busy to care what anyone else is doing. I am planning on setting up our Christmas tree this weekend, for my kids mostly...but I don't know if it will help me feel any better.

  2. I sure understand where you're at with Christmas! I've returned to the simple parts of the season...cookie making with grandkids and just sharing the time together.

  3. Hi Elizabeth. I'm "Mom Kim" from the Fuzzy Tales blog or just Kim from my Musings blog. :-)

    I think Christmas holds deep and true meaning if one is a practicing Christian (which I am not, though was in younger years). At this time in my life, the Solstice holds more meaning, though I'm not Wiccan, either.

    Actually, I used to love the holidays, my favourite part of winter, until I divorced about a decade ago. I've been on my own since, no family close by (geographically), no siblings at all, and so the holidays were something to endure and I'd always breathe a sigh of relief when Boxing Day rolled around and I had made it through without doing something drastic and irrevocable. Time spent with friends wasn't quite the same and I tended to feel like the fifth wheel, spending Christmas Day with someone else's family. Now I spend it with the fur family for company and I enjoy it all the more, no pressure to "be" a certain way. But even so, I'm aware that the emphasis on family time can be difficult for a great many people who are alone.

    Perhaps I'm too cynical, but I suspect that most people who celebrate Christmas are just happy to have it all over and done with for another year. Most, not all of course. But it's too much pressure, too much stress, coupled with too many expectations, in too short a time.

    Perhaps in some ways I'm lucky -- I'm free of the obligations that cause so much stress and tension, and therefore can relax and enjoy the time more.

    BTW, I read your profile and was absolutely blown away by your sheer will and determination to live. I really don't know that I'd have done the same, had the strength and desire to continue. So I'm in awe of you in that regard.

    Universal Blessings and Light.


  4. Pumpkin, I believe the tree decorating will bring you something special. You've got such great kids!

    Ciss, I'm pretty sure when I get down to L.A. and be with Grandkids, I will be able to enjoy things more. Have fun with the cookies!

  5. Hi Mom Kim, Thanks for visiting! I like the fur family holiday idea. Had to be alone this weekend, and they entertained me the whole time. (Except for Bambi who is sick)

    I agree with what you wrote. I keep asking others what they like and dislike. I'm getting a lot of "it's too much" answers. I've given up on the stress and tension, too.

    As for my profile. Believe me, I've didn't have a lot of strength. Pretty much felt victimized a lot. But, like Winston Churchill said, "When you're going through Hell... Keep Going!


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