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Make yourself at home. Put your feet up. Grab your favorite beverage and prepare to enjoy the reads.
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Tuesday

Run Away Toilet

Toilets don't run away from home, though perhaps they wish they could.

If I were a toilet, I certainly would want to be clean. I would face my career with pride.

But, when I got old, my pride would turn into embarrassment and shame. I'm no longer useful. In fact I am a drain on the planet. My invention was to keep the planet clean and safe from pollution. But now, look at all those new fangled toilets on the market, the ones with the water saving ability.

I'm now considered a water hogger, a waster of a precious resource. Soon, I will be replaced. The city where I live has a program, a free low flow toilet for every resident. All they have to do is ask and someone will come out to the house and remove me, and others like me.

Where will we go? Can they chop us up into new material and turn us into park benches? I doubt it. Will we end up in the toilet grieve yard? I understand the name for that is "the dump"! How is that any better for the environment than leaving me where I am?

Oh, I know I have my faults. I didn't flush properly last night. I mean I took care of my complete responsibilities. But, I do have that one leaky part, that if anyone would take the trouble to repair, wouldn't leak anymore.

So, last night I leaked for a good (bad) 12 hours before I was discovered. It's not like I do this on purpose. It' not my fault! If they cannot repair me, the least they can do is hang around until I'm finished refilling the bowl. Then, they would notice the leak. I certainly make enough noise when I leak. At least they could hear it if standing in the bathroom with me. It's their fault for not hanging around and checking up on me, and wiggling my handle to stop the leak!

My time is coming to an end soon. I wish there were some way to prevent it. I wish there would be a new life waiting for me after this. But, like old grandma use to say, "If wishes were fishes, we'd all live in the sea!"

After that long leak of last night, it was the last straw, and now the city has been called. The workers will come in with their brand new low flow toilet and replace me. I will be taken away, I know not where.

7 comments:

  1. You made me laugh; good story. So, you are getting a new toilet?

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  2. In Japan and Korea the toilets are heated and play music, recycle water for washing hands, and can be a bidet on request....

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  3. @ Linda, Have to wait until the city processes my application and then it is farewell to this one, no matter how nice a personality it has. @ Patricia, Perhaps this one can be reincarnated where it might be more appreciated.

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  4. GREAT story!!!! I just needed that right now... Thanks :)))

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  5. In one of the Hotels I stayed in when in NYC, the toilet flushed automatically as you raised your posterior from the sitting position! I thought that was quite flash!!!!

    But srsly, you are right ~ some replacing of items just doesn't make sense, given the existing items are not recycled. What a waste.

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  6. I giggle all the way through! We don't have such a nice city that offers that kind of deal here. Our old toilet is causing problems but the cost of replacing it right now is a bit prohibitive, and so we patch it up and live with it one more time.

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  7. My grandma planted flowers in her old toilet and put it in her front yard in her flower garden. It made an interesting flower pot.

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